KID's Kid
by whitedoyle
Summary: Kaito knew he really shouldn't have been out that late yesterday...Pointless one-shot written for my story "The Memoires of a Detective".


_It started out with a kiss  
__How did it end up like this?  
__It was only a kiss  
__It was only a kiss…_

Kaito reached an arm over and slapped his alarm clock, trying to shut it off; in the process, he ended up knocking the device off the nightstand. With a groan, Kaito rolled over in bed and bent down to pick up the clocked, sighing when he noticed the time. It was 3:00PM already. Good thing it was a Saturday. Kaito placed the clock on the nightstand and dropped back onto the bed, hands busy rubbing his temples. He really shouldn't have been out that late yesterday...

"What happened?" Kaito mumbled, slowly opening his eyes. Even with the curtains closed, the dimly lit room hurt his eyes.

He remembered going to a club. And having a couple of drinks. And dancing with...someone. But the face was fuzzy; he couldn't quite remember who. And now he felt exhausted, with a migraine to boot. He needed a Tylenol or something.

Slowly, Kaito got out of bed and stood up, clad only in his One Piece boxers, a picture of Luffy plastered on the front. As soon as he stood though, his head swooned; a suddenly feeling of nausea overtaking the teen. Kaito rushed to the bathroom and promptly threw up in the toilet. His insides suddenly felt like they were on fire, his throat suddenly parched._Maybe I'm coming down with something_, Kaito thought to himself, still kneeling in front of the toilet. He should probably see a doctor.

Kaito picked himself off the ground and found some Tylenol in his medicine cabinet. After popping a few pills, Kaito returned to his room, scanning the room for his clothes. He found his jeans lying in a pile of dirty laundry and rummaged through the pockets until he found his phone. "Now, where's the nearest office?" Kaito mumbled, doing a quick search on his iPhone. Several results came up and Kaito picked the first one, entering the number into his phone.

"Hello, this is Dr. Stein's Office. How may I help you?" a receptionist asked, her voice sounding rather friendly.

"I'm not feeling too well" Kaito said, "Can I schedule an appointment for today?"

"We have an open slot in an hour. Will that work for you?" the receptionist replied.

"Yes, that'll be fine," Kaito managed and hung up the phone. He'd just have to survive the hour.

* * *

"Kaito Kuroba?" a nurse called, causing Kaito to look up.

"Yes," Kaito answered, standing up. His legs still felt wobbly but at least he didn't feel like vomiting.

"Come this way please," the nurse directed, leading Kaito to one of the examination rooms. Kaito followed the nurse's lead. "Wait here for Dr. Stein, alright Kuroba-kun?" Kaito nodded his head and the nurse left. It wasn't long before the doctor entered.

"Dr. Stein," Kaito greeted.

"Please, call me Franken," the doctor replied, pulling out a clipboard, "So, what seems to be the problem?"

"I have a terrible migraine and I feel nauseous," Kaito replied, holding on to a nearby table for support.

"I see," the doctor said, writing something down, "And do you have a history of migraines?"

"No," Kaito replied.

"I see," the doctor repeated, "What about any unusual bowel movements lately?"

Kaito raised an eyebrow. _That's an odd question to ask_. But Kaito answered anyways, "No, no unusual bowel movments Dr. Franken."

"I see," the doctor said, now getting on Kaito's nerves. Was the doctor planning to do anything other than seeing? "Last question. Have you had any recent nights of indiscretion?"

"W-what? What is that supposed to mean?" Kaito asked, taken by surprise.

"Any late nights at bars or clubs, followed by memory loss?" the doctor clarified.

"Well, I did go to a club yesterday night. And my memory is a bit hazy," Kaito replied slowly, wondering what the doctor was getting at.

"I see," the doctor said, writing something else down.

Kaito was officially ticked, "What do you 'see', doctor?! Please, do share!"

"You're pregnant," the doctor replied, not even looking up from his clipboard.

"W-what?!" Kaito exclaimed, not sure if he heard right. What this doctor a quack?

"I said, 'You're pregnant'. Congratulations," the doctor said with a smile, reaching a hand out as if to offer a handshake.

Kaito slapped it away, clearly annoyed at the doctor's antics. "Now listen here, doctor. I don't know where you got your medical degree, but I guess you must have been sleeping in class when they taught you that males don't get pregnant," Kaito snapped.

The doctor looked taken aback by Kaito's sudden outburst. He reached a hand out and placed it on Kaito's forehead.

"What are you doing?" Kaito asked, eyebrow twitching. The doctor ignored him though and instead, pulled out a pen light and shined it into Kaito's eyes, momentarily blinding the teen. Kaito raised a hand to shield his eyes. "What the heck, doc?!" Kaito remarked.

"No, no fever. And pupil reaction is normal. You don't appear to be crazy," the doctor concluded.

"You're the one that's crazy!" Kaito snapped.

"Well, I was a bit worried when you thought you were a male. I mean, it clearly says right here that you're a female," Dr. Stein said, pointing to his clipboard.

"Doc, I think your information is wrong," Kaito said with a sigh. "See, I'm clearly-" Kaito started, as he unzipped his jeans. He looked down, but was suddenly shocked by what he saw. "W-wait! It's not here!" Kaito exclaimed, slightly panicked. He reached a hand down, but it was indeed gone.

"Kuroba-kun, are you alright?" the doctor asked, snapping Kaito back to reality.

"What's going on?" Kaito mumbled. Did it have something to do with last night? Why couldn't he remember?!

"Kuroba-kun," the doctor called, "I think we should get you to the delivery room soon."

"What?" Kaito asked, confused. Dr. Stein pointed at Kaito's stomach and when the teen looked down, he noticed a giant bulge. "Where did this come from?!" Kaito asked. He swore there was nothing there a moment ago.

"Kuroba-kun, your water just broke," the doctor pointed out.

"My what?" Kaito asked, but a stretcher suddenly came flying into the room and before he knew it, he was on his way to the delivery room.

The next hour or so was a blur, with Kaito feeling some of the strangest feelings he had ever felt in his entire life. It felt like he was constipated. It felt like something was squirming around inside him. It felt...

"It's a boy!" Dr. Stein announce, holding the crying baby in the air for all to see. Kaito collapsed onto the bed he was on, sweat pouring down his face. _What the heck just happened? _"Congratulations," the doctor said, handing Kaito the baby boy, now wrapped in a blanket. With that, the doctor and nurses left the room, leaving Kaito and the baby alone.

Kaito held the baby in his arms, unsure exactly what to do. What this his baby? Who was the father then? "Wait!" Kaito exclaimed, stopping himself, "How can I fricken have a baby? I'm a guy!" Kaito yelled. The holler scared the baby, causing it to start crying. "Ah! Shhh," Kaito comforted, trying to rock the baby. The baby slowly quieted down and Kaito let out a sigh of relief. Everything was happening way too quickly.

Just then, the baby opened its eyes, its large, cerulean blue eyes and stared up at Kaito. _Those eyes_, Kaito thought, suddenly reminded of someone. Kaito was snapped out of his thoughts by an abrupt announcement coming from the speakers above.

"Attention all patrons. Please don't forget to name your babies," the announcement said before cutting off.

"That was...weird," Kaito mumbled, looking down at the baby boy in his hands. "A name, huh?" Kaito said, still rocking the baby. The baby was still looking at Kaito with those big blue eyes. "I know just the one," Kaito said cheerfully, holding the baby in front of him. "How about we call you, Edogawa Tantei Conan?" The baby smiled at that and, as if in response to Kaito's words, began to grow in size. It was as if Kaito was watching a movie in fast forward; first a foot, then two feet, then three feet tall. In a matter of moments, Kaito had a good sized child in his arms.

"W-what?!" Kaito exclaimed, almost dropping the child in surprise.

"Hello, KID," the child said, "You can let me down now." Kaito, too shocked to do otherwise, let the child down onto the ground. The child, an exact mirror image of Edogawa Conan, pulled out a phone from thin air and punched in a number.

"W-who are you calling?" Kaito asked, his brain ceasing to function.

"Nakamori-keibu, of course," the child replied, a smirk forming across his face.

* * *

"You can't turn me in! I'm your father, Conan!" the thief was mumbling.

Conan went over and retrieved his soccer ball, eyeing the unconscious thief as he did so. "Maybe I hit him in the head a little too hard?" Conan wondered.


End file.
